Update: This blog post was written back when we offered a white glove CV review, re-write and optimisation process. Before we created the NatResPro Resume Profile Builder. It was a spoof article to get a message across about vague and incomplete details submitted by job candidates. Even though we found a better solution to our CV/resume process, we decided to leave this post on our website as it still has relevance for those people who are job seeking and stumble across it.
Congratulations to us!
So, we did it! A dream that we've wished for - to solve a problem that's common and time-consuming.
We're proud to announce the world's first predictive and time travelling computerised robot. Our robot can go back into the past to accurately piece together missing details from candidate CVs.
When we see that someone has "Worked in Tunisia" our Robot can tell us exactly what type of rig it was, and which skill specialities were necessary to work there. If the CV says "all relevant certificates up to date" our Robot can tell us which certificates the job seeker is referring to.
The reason why we're so happy about this is that we usually spend at least half a day formatting, standardising and optimising each CV that's submitted by one of our candidates. This work is done by one of our Skill Pool Advisors, each with at least 20-years of relevant industry experience. (Not the recruiting industry - the drilling industry!)
Each time a CV is incomplete or vague, this has resulted in time-consuming detective work by our Skill Pool Advisors. They spend time on Google trying to track down the details of past projects or fit together whether the candidate was likely to have been offshore or onshore, let alone on a MODU working in shallow or deep water. Our Advisors usually need to follow up with an email chain with the candidate in the hope that they can track down all of the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle to create a CV that looks both professional and presentable.
Why do our Skill Pool Advisors do this?
Because they've been involved in the recruiting process, from the side of the oil and gas companies, they understand the selection process from the point of view of a Technical Recruiting Manager. They know that shabby and incomplete CV's get overlooked. A Technical Recruiting Manager does not have the time for the searching and detective work when they can move onto appropriately prepared CV's.
So you can see the advantage of having a time-travelling robot!
Our robot will save hours, days and sometimes weeks of frustration and delays. We've designed the robot to travel back in time to fill in the blanks in our candidates CV's, but we now believe that our robot can see the future as well!
That's how we discovered that our robot could travel forward in time as well as back
After our robot had got to the stage where it was semi-conscious and able to play Candy Crush and Clash of Clans better than we could, we started to see him as a person, a part of the team. He needed a name.
We were trying to decide whether to call him 'The Oracle' or 'Crystal Balls' as both names seemed to suit. Our robot interrupted us and said that 'he' was, in fact, a 'she' and that in the future we would start to call her 'the which'.
We asked whether she meant 'the witch' and she said no, we will call her 'the which' because she will be able to tell us:
- Which skill specialities are attributed to which candidates.
- Which project each person worked on at which time.
- Which residencies, passports, and restrictions are applicable.
- Which passed certificates are current and up to date.
- Which parts of the world the candidate will or won't work, and which they have and haven't worked.
Plus many, more we considered calling her the 'which-what-where-who', but it didn't have the same ring to it. So 'the which' it is then.
Here she is:
The latest member of our team, 'The Which' who will make all of our lives easier!
The 'future predicting' part of the programming is a work in progress, but we already see the potential in helping us to solve other problems in the recruitment business.
Soon, we will be able to answer some difficult questions from candidates such as:
- How long do you think that it will take for me to get a job?
- What does the employer think of my application that we submitted last week?
- How long will this downturn last?
- How much will the price of oil be in a years time from now?
Our time travelling predictive robot will undoubtedly make our lives easier. The benefits to the less diligent job hunters will be even more profound. It will soon be possible to dust off a 15-year-old CV and put no additional effort in whatsoever.
DISCLAIMER
Our time-travelling robot doesn't exist. This is a spoof article to get the point across about inaccurate or incomplete CV's damaging your chances of employment. It's also designed to get the point across about the level of care and diligence involved in our CV service and the work that's done before entry into the database.
There was a time when disclaimers like this were not needed, people got the joke and understood the message. Now the slower ones among us are 'protected' by many regulations. To err on the side of caution, we would like to point out that we are not scientists or inventors and we are certainly not legal, financial or healthcare professionals. We don't think that time travel has been invented yet and that any similarity between our robot and anyone real, who's alive or dead is merely coincidental.
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